Jaimee Eat World

It’s been a week, hasn’t it?

Put My Last Quarter On

Like most people I wasn’t surprised when I threw on the clip of the U.S Men’s hockey team celebrating their Gold medal win and saw the excitement in their eyes as they listened to the world’s worst President give them his worthless praise.

I also wasn’t surprised when that same rapist pedophile with a disdain for almost every human being on the planet outside of himself couldn’t help himself but use the opportunity to throw in a quip disparaging the U.S Women’s hockey team, who also took home a Gold medal this year.

Nonetheless I was thoroughly disappointed in all the men in the room who didn’t hesitate for a second to laugh at the seemingly unfortunate reality that they would not be the only team invited to the State of the Union and White House.

Because the women won, so, I guess, we have to, right boys? Cause that would look bad, and I guess we should care about not looking bad? But we’re all aware that we’d rather we didn’t have to do that, right?

That’s what the laughter actually said; We’d rather not acknowledge the achievements of the women’s team, because they’re women, ew. We’d rather not invite them to the White House, because this is a prestigious honour for men only. We don’t even really like them, but we do have to acknowledge that they exist because their event was also televised and optics matter to nation, sometimes. Not often when it’s important, but in sports, always.

If you think that my assessment of that situation is a reach, you are almost definitely part of the overarching problem.

I’ve Got No Secret Purpose

I was a figure skater when I was a girl despite growing up in a hockey family. My dad coaches, my brothers played competitively, but my sister figure skated and so, as I learned to skate I also learned to figure skate. It was absolutely a gender-based decision that held up until I got the courage to ask my dad if I could try out for hockey instead.

I’d been to so many try-outs at this point in my life I assumed that’s how everyone got their start in the game, I didn’t even realize there was a house-league first so when my dad told me I didn’t have to try-out, I was confused. I just had to convince mom that figure skating wasn’t for me and hockey was. That was an easier sell than I thought it might be because I just wasn’t progressing in figure skating as well as my sister did (she was super good), largely due to my fear of falling during jumps and cracking open my chin again. For some reason I didn’t fear being pummelled into the boards, probably because as I said I grew up with brothers.

You have to make a lot of sacrifices when you’re playing sports competitively. It was common in my house for my mom to explain that dad and the boys would be away because they had tournaments in other cities and it was just something you had to get used to. Hockey was always more important than holidays and family events, it was even more important than church – and that was something I stewed about as I sat bored off my face in those pews every Sunday listening to Father John drone on and on about whatever while my brothers played hockey instead. It always felt a little unfair.

But that’s hockey culture for you.

It should go without saying that the same sacrifices have to be made if you choose to play women’s hockey competitively, but when I was growing up there wasn’t really a strong women’s hockey league. In fact just about any girl who played hockey all played at the same arena on the same day every week. Whether you were 13 or 19, you played in this league. It was the only league and it was a wild time. Some of the women I played with for sure could have ended up on Team Canada if they had the support and resources to do so; they were insanely talented from young ages and it was just crazy cause they were also playing with someone like me who, while actually not a bad player (strong skater), was still working out how to do a wrist shot.

There wasn’t a professional women’s hockey team back then so for most of us there was no real push or aspiration to do more than show up every week and play your best – you sort of just knew this was only a hobby for women because, that was the difference in the two cultures.

Although women’s hockey has made significant strides in recent years and I’m elated and optimistic for the future of women’s hockey, it is still worlds behind men’s hockey in terms of accessibility and respect for the sport.

That short clip, and the subsequent media frenzy that followed it just reminded women everywhere that they still don’t want us to take up this type of space; They do not believe we are worthy of it.

And I am so tired of trying to explain why that’s wrong. I know I’m not the only one.

It’s How The Hustle Goes

The way we all respond to these types of controversies is critical in how we progress forward from them.

In the aftermath, I was saddened to see the Women’s Olympic Gold medallists being asked to respond for the behaviour of the men at a far higher volume than the men were being questioned for their own opinion on what happened and why.

It shows a complete lack of accountability when you don’t question the person responsible for the act and instead question the victim – yes I’m using this word purposely here.

I don’t want to harp on the responses some of the women gave that I disagreed with because as several astutely mentioned, it is not their responsibility to respond at all, so I will speak broadly instead to the general public who responded by saying things like, “The boys were drunk, they didn’t mean it!” and “But they partied with the women, celebrating both their wins! They’re allies!” and “I don’t want to bring politics into the sport!”

“The boys were drunk, they didn’t mean it!”

Oh, so they can’t be held accountable for their actions if they’ve been drinking? Maybe someone should have told them how important it is that they stay sober to ensure they don’t find themselves in compromising positions.

“But they partied with the women, celebrating both their wins! They’re allies!”

Did they also make a point to tell those same women that they were just laughing about the very idea of having to extend the invite to their team from the President? Is that what allies do? Last I checked… nope.

“I don’t want to bring politics into the sport!”

But you do want to party with the head of the FBI, attend the State of the Union and visit the White House to shake hands with a President who very well should be in jail right now for a plethora of heinous crimes? Honestly I don’t even have time to get into all the reasons you shouldn’t want to be in the same room with this guy and almost a whole team, meant to represent their countries best, jumped at the bit to do it this week. I wouldn’t want to bring basic morality into this.

None of these responses frankly make any sense to the broader point and none of them in any way showcase the way true allies would have responded to this moment.

A true ally to women would not have entertained the phone call from the President, they would have walked away.

A true ally to women would not have laughed or reacted in any way other than disgust at his notion that the women were unworthy of the invite, but that he had to for the optics of it (or you could say, the politics of it).

A true ally to women would have declined the invite to the State of the Union and the White House.

A true ally would have also released a statement condemning the comments made by the president and reiterating their unwavering support and respect for their female hockey teammates.

Until that happens, women and women athletes everywhere know where we really stand in your eyes.

And I continue to remain completely and utterly disappointed in the treatment of women this world over both on and off the ice.

And I have to add because it’s been a number of days now: Would it have killed these guys to step back for a second, reflect on what happened and apologize for their reaction? It really is the least they could have done in the wake of it, but they can’t even seem to do that.

Actions speak volumes.