I’m really more of a morning person.
Is It Dark Yet Outside?
It kind of feels dark all the time now, doesn’t it? At least it does here.
You know times are rough when joining the military does not only become a highly viable option, but arguably one of the best options you have. It’s less scary here in Canada, I imagine, then say joining the military in the United States, but it’s still not something I really ever seriously started to consider until recently given how utterly shit everything has become.
There are a lot of great things about Canada, to be sure, but it is not an easy place to live comfortably anymore without the advantage of generational wealth. Not to draw comparisons, but that’s one thing that sets me apart from the majority of my former friends – everyone in my family right now is struggling immensely and things are not looking to turn a corner anytime soon.
Your Debt Erased
With the urge to start anew stronger than ever before, I have already set certain things in place for my return to the west coast, but I know I have even bigger hurdles ahead of me. Unfortunately the hurdles I will continue to face here are not small enough by comparison to stay and tough out for however many more disappointing years, so my mind is made up about it, now I’m just trying to limit the hardships.
For better or for worse, the dealership I got my car from is interested in taking mine back, or trading it in, so that they can optimize their profits on the ever-growing used car market. It could be a bit of a blessing if I’m able to get out of my agreement relatively unscathed and have two less payments hanging over my head every month while I try to find my way in a new province, although it means my hopeful road trip down the pacific coast highway will likely be on hold for some time (I have to remind myself I can’t afford it regardless, not that it would necessarily stop me).
Feel No Shame
And so I’m looking into my options for packing even lighter than expected. Maybe I could seing just one guitar on the plane (assuming I’m able to sell the car), or maybe I just leave them all safe at my folks until I’m ready for them. Bring some clothes, some shoes, and figure it all out once I land and hopefully get a job that can at least allow me to afford a room in a sharehouse and a used bicycle.
Soon to be 36 years old, I should not be ashamed of needing roommates, but it is not the life I envisioned I would be living at this point of it.
At least with the military I could enter into a new career path that educates me in an industry that’s a little more sustainable after I complete mandatory service – plus, there’s the bonus stipends. Really doesn’t sound too bad.
And it’s not like I have an real ties to any city or town anymore, anyway.
Shame was released previously, buttttt I have to find the copy. I’ll update this post with the old copy once I do.
Jaimee Eat World 
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