Well, I am exhausted.
I Know I’m Dreaming
It’s been a very busy first 3 weeks here in Vancouver. I feel like I haven’t stopped moving my feet for a minute. Truly – my step count is utterly stupid.
On the positive side of things, I have been able to secure a lot of work – some of it better than others. But, it’s all temporary, so whenever I’m not working, I’m usually squeezing out a couple more applications in my quest to find more stable employment. It’s a little stressful because before long I’d really like to apply for my own apartment and actually have a shot at getting it, so the sooner I can get something locked down the better. I don’t feel like I can really rest until that happens.
It’s really tough to make time for your hobbies and other life goals when you’re so focused on basic needs for survival. I knew I was putting myself in this position when I decided to drive out here again so I’m not exactly complaining about it, but it’s really tough to comprehend why we make it so hard on ourselves and each other to just make enough money to have food and shelter, never mind all the other fluff. I haven’t even had a minute to check out any of the local open mics!
On the other hand, I’m here… in Vancouver… doing the thing I set out to do so long ago. The reality always looks a little different than the dream.
The Picture In My Head Is Always Moving
I know it’d be easier to manage the lows if I had people to lean on during the tougher days, but all things considered I think I’m doing alright on my own here. With each passing day however I seem to remind myself that as much as I enjoy my quiet time and solitude on some level, life is just better when you’re experiencing it with others. I really want that for myself again and when I really think about it, I can see the full picture wholly realized. One day…
I have met a lot of great people here already and most of my interactions have been overwhelmingly positive and reassuring, but things are just not quite where they should be yet. I reiterate it has only been 3 weeks and real connections take time.
For The Rest…
In the meantime I’m just carrying on doing the best I can and trying not to overwork myself in the great pursuit of… staying alive and dry.
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